Most of these moments involve being a mom. Amidst a conversation with my two-year-old I stop and wonder is this really happening? I'm listening to MY little boy, not even a baby, but a kid having a real conversation telling me about the neighbor kid... and he's calling me mom! So weird. And the other day I had just pulled the clothes out of the dryer and was carrying a basket up the stairs while Steve was following behind me with sacks of stuff from Walmart and I had to stop and move Michael's lawn mower out of the way. I paused and told Steve, "Sometimes it's just so weird to me that I'm a wife and a mom and I live in my own house. I mean I just had to move my own kid's toy--our almost 3 year old's toy-- out of the way in order to carry laundry up the stairs. Sometimes I feel like I'm too young to be doing this."
In the last few days I've had to make a number of phone calls home about problems with students. Things involving changing the computer backgrounds to inappropriate images and students skipping class by sitting in the bathroom (in a stall) for the period and kids writing super naughty things on other kids' body parts... ya know just stupid, immature, end-of-year things. Then the phone calls home happen and I'm talking with parents--parents of 12 and 13 year old kids--explaining what their child has done. Then I sit there and listen to them apologize and tell me how much they're going to take care of it when their child gets home. At times like this, I find myself amused at the fact that just 7-ish years ago, I was a student doing "stupid, immature, end-of-year things." And if my teachers would've ever known, my parents would be the ones apologizing for their child's stupidity too. Funny, right? It's a little unreal to me that at age 25, on Monday-Friday, I am responsible for 145 humans between the hours of 8:15 and 2:45--those humans being half my age. And not only am I supposed to keep them attentive and safe, I'm supposed to teach them grammar rules and develop their writing and further their literacy all while building their self-esteem and helping them learn to be normal, civil, functioning members of society. Surreal? Yes!
And what about those big, grown-up decisions? Some of them harder to make than others but no one is responsible to make those for us except Steve and myself. We get to choose. And we get to do things we know our parents (and other responsible adults) would probably frown upon. Like eating In-N-Out at 1:30 in the morning or staying up way too late on a school night. We're grown-up now whether we always feel like it or not. Sometimes it's fun being an adult like when you get to book a cruise just because you want to or when your house is a mess but you still get to have your cell phone and leave the house, driving your car whenever you want (thanks mom for teaching me all those great things... at least you know that I do in fact know how to clean even if I don't always do it) and sometimes it's not very fun like when you realize how much groceries and bills actually cost or having to clean up puke or diarrhea at 3 in the morning. Not that fun--and too gross to give you that surreal feeling.
But overall, being an adult is fun and way better than not being one. I actually love those moments when I feel like I'm "playing house" because I'm doing all the things I dreamed of doing as a little girl. I'm a wife to a loving husband and I get to be the mom to a darling boy and I'm a teacher to not-so-darling-but-still-a-lot-of-fun teenagers. The dreams I had as a little girl continue to come true each day as I live my life. So sometimes my life seems bizarre, yet I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Oh and speaking of dreams... Michael woke this morning crying really hard. Steve and I quickly ran in to find Michael crawling out of bed sobbing. "Jackson took my food!" he cried. As I held him and rocked him all he could say was that he was at school sitting "right there on the side of that lunch table" and Jackson came over and took his food! He was so upset and mad at Jackson. Steve and I tried to explain to him that it was a dream and he just thought it happened but he did not understand. He just looked at us like "Didn't you just hear what I said?!" We told him how sometimes when a person is sleeping your head pretends that something happens and makes you think it happened but then you wake up and it didn't really happen. I never realized that dreaming might be a difficult concept to explain to a two-year-old. I hope he didn't go to school and get mad at Jackson today.
I googled "surreal" to find a picture for this post but got a little freaked out.
So instead, here is a picture of our cruise ship.
Yay for upcoming vacations!!
3 comments:
ditto. i loved this post Mimi!
As I read this I laughed, because I know exactly what you mean. I cannot wait to have conversations with my kids, I’m not there quite yet.
It is strange how being a mom and a wife makes you grow up.
I like your explanation of a dream HAVE FUN on your vay cay you deserve every bit of it!
That is how I feel. I still feel too young to be a home owner, wife, and to be having a baby soon. I still feel like I am 18. Where did all the time go and when did I "grow up"?
Post a Comment