Blogging our Happiness

Blogging is something I was introduced to about three years ago. It took me a while to catch on but I soon found different blogs I liked to read. Finally, I started one of my own. I love posting about my thoughts or things that are going on with both my family and myself. I post accomplishments and successes along with failures and times of discouragement. I do this so I can remember our life and so I can share it with family and friends. It's hard keeping in contact and staying updated with people and this is a fun way to do it. It's nice to know people care enough to check up on you and sometimes even leave comments--words of encouragement or support, or even to know someone is laughing with me via internet. What I post is truthful and real--the good and the bad. Most of the time the things that I post fall into the good category because for me, life right now just isn't that bad. I have hard days just like anyone else, but I'm trying hard to work on perspective---finding the good in the bad. (Something I've slowly learned from Steve.)

Through my blogging, I've also learned to love reading other people's blogs. I don't think I stalk them because it's not like I'm trying to spy. If ever I was asked if I visit a blog or not, I would be happy to admit I do. My problem is I just don't always comment. Something I will probably start doing more because I know how much I like to read comments left on my own blog. I usually find link to blogs I find on someone else's blog or even in their comments. Some blogs I instantly like and bookmark it so I can look over it again someday. Others, it only takes me a few minutes to realize it's not a blog for me and I don't have interest in visiting it again.

One blog I've been reading on and off the last year or so is the ever so popular Seriously, so blessed! At first, I couldn't find the humor in it and I kept wanting to comment about the misspelled words. :) (So glad I didn't) Then I realized what the blog was about and I kept reading. The things I read were ridiculously funny. I checked back frequently to see what else she would come up with. Then it seemed to become too much. The last few months, I've really had a crummy feeling about reading that blog. I don't think it was so much the posts but the comments that were made. Some people wanted to be funny like TAMN but took things too far. I feel like the posts and the comments too often made fun of good things in the church; things that make us a close-knit, people-serving group. Sometimes even sacred things like the sacrament or priesthood were made light of. Also, I feel like it made fun of a lot of women who post about the happy things in life. If someone wants to post about how wonderful their life is, more power to them. If a blog is used as a scrapbook, typically only really great things (those that a lot of times warrant a picture) are included. I think it's great if people think they have the happiest life, or the cutest kids, or the greatest body. I don't think it's right to make fun of them or downplay their happiness. Just let them be happy!

I've wanted to post my thoughts on this for a few weeks and never got around to it. After reading this article I knew I wanted to type something. The article talks about being hooked on "Mormon mommy blogs." (Two she mentions are blogs I've been reading pretty consistently for the last year or so.) I agree that reading blogs about motherhood and baking and crafting and cleaning, etc are addicting. I have my favorites too. I like reading their ideas and recipes and even their funny parenting stories. The non-LDS author writes about being drawn to the blogs because they are uplifting. The blogs show that marriage and having children and being at home is an enjoyable thing. One of the blog writers said, "I've gotten e-mails from readers thanking me for putting a positive spin on marriage and family. It's important to acknowledge the hard parts -- and I think we all do -- but why not focus more on the lovely and the beautiful?" Well said, I say.

Many of the comments for the article bash Mormons and the LDS religion. Some say something to the affect of 'Mormon women are happy because they have to be but it's not real' and 'if Mormon’s are good and are happy, they get to become gods when they die so of course they pretend to be happy'. These commenters seem to have something real missing from their own lives: happiness. Some are too judgmental and pessimistic about people and life. Some are skeptical that someone's life can be as "perfect" as those portrayed in the blogs mentioned. Some don't believe that a person can truly love being married and sharing their life with only one person or be happy spending their days caring for kids. I don't think I'm alone when I say that this is happiness. But these people see our happiness as a ball and chain; something that steals their freedom of life. If only they knew, the happiness that can come from appreciating life--the good and bad, come what may.

Now although those people claim to have a happy life, I know that like anyone else they probably have their times of frustration and sadness too. I would say I have a happy life as well, however, I have to admit: sometimes I get down because I am a full-time working mom. I know some women might not want to spend their days home with their child(ren). Not me. I would much prefer staying home, playing with Michael, cleaning my house, folding laundry, making meals and crafts, taking time to read books and study scriptures, and doing all the things I wish I had the time for rather than teaching every day. Not that I don't love my job, but I love being a wife and a mom so much more. I can't wait for the day when my full-time job is at home with my kids doing all the things I want to do.

And though I don't always post about it on my blog, sometimes I get really frustrated. At times it gets hard when I sit in Relief Society surrounded by women saying how their lives are so stressful because they have to care for kids, do laundry, take care of dishes, fix meals, go grocery shopping, etc. I have a hard time being sympathetic because all I want to say is... "Try working 40+ hours a week AND trying to do all of those things in the few hours of the day that remain after work. Then let's talk about being stressed." Rude, right? Or when moms complain about how they wish they had a job or something because being home with their kids is just too much. I've heard people say "you just don't know what it's like." They're right. I don't because I haven't yet had the luxury of being at home. (Yes I consider it to be a luxury.) I doubt I'll ever feel like I'd rather have a job than be a stay-at-home mom. Either way, my point is that no one really has a “perfect” life. Everyone is a real person that deals with real life which then leads to real emotion—real happiness, anger, sadness, or excitement.

Even though I don't live the life of one of the "Mormon mommy bloggers" from the article of staying at home caring for kids, I'm happy for them. I'm glad they have happiness in their life and can uplift me and others by sharing. I'm grateful for my own happiness whether I blog about it or not. I'm thankful that in a world as wicked as ours, there are positive perspectives all around us via blogs. So write on bloggers... I'm happy to read anything you want to write about.

PS I find it interesting that just a few days ago, the Seriously, So Blessed blog came to an end. Or at least it appears that way. I wonder what made her stop...